Hi Vansters,

I feel like I’ve been neglecting this blog due to my business coaching and consultancy company, Ignite the Screen, and wonderfully managing to get clients before the site was even launched. Things are going at a nice pace there now although I’m still very busy with it having just put out a brand new free guide which talks about customizing Facebook pages for business. If you’ve got your own business please feel free to download it.

Due to me being busy there have been no fit posts which is a shame but unfortunately they do take up quite a bit of time to compose and I’ve kind of made the decision to pull back from doing them because they took up a lot of time I needed to dedicate to my business.

But I wanted to use this post to answer a question by the beautiful, fashionable business woman  Monif C as well as share with you some ASOS related news.

This is a long post so please don’t speed read.

Monif said

Hi Vanessa, hope you are doing good…drop a line in the ASOS Curve folks ear that they should consider carrying some of the designer plus size labels on their site similar to how they do with the str8 size lines. I think Monif C., Anna Scholz, Svoboda and the like would be great on the site! Read your blog the other day, keep up the good work!

I wanted to spend some time thinking of a response. It is not the official response; it is my personal response which is very much constructed from observation. So please remember than as you read on.

Having been with Curve for nearly six months I can say it is still a very small subsidiary of the ASOS brand. It may seem big (pardon the pun) to many in the full figured fashion world but it by no means takes the amount of money its mainline does. That is just a simple fact. Curve was only ever meant to give fuller figured women the option of having select core line styles in the sizes of 20-26 (UK) and over time it’s managed to stick in a few exclusives which aren’t on core.

It’s not like Simply Be or Evans; these companies are solely set up for the full figured fashion market. Curve is classed like maternity or petite, so as a business at this point it would not serve ASOS to bring in new full figured lines as Monif has suggested. Not at this point.

This may not seem fair but from a business perspective it makes sense to leverage their own brand first before they even think of bringing in new lines.

But there is also a flip side which no one really likes to talk about but being as it’s me writing this (and not a cookie cutter PR) I’ll just go ahead and say it.

Have you ever wondered why Curve (at time of writing) is never featured in Asos magazine? Have you wondered why there isn’t a huge amount of press around ASOS Curve in mainstream media? It’s not that team don’t want this – it’s in my view because the hierarchy that runs ASOS don’t seem ready to want to put full figure out there as a main marketing niche. They market to ‘straight’ size young fashionables.

This used to make me quite angry but really from a PR perspective I can see why a predominantly ‘slim’ niche clothing company would be hesitant to show full figure women anywhere on their site. This is why I believe you will never see size 20 models on Curve.

The knee jerk reaction would be to claim ASOS don’t like fat people. That is rubbish. I know this because I’ve never worked in a place I’ve had so much love and respect from my peers as I do at ASOS. They are very dedicated and focused to giving you good clothes.

The simple fact is, in my view, they (the puppet masters at ASOS) don’t understand the power of the full figured market on a global scale, yet. Their image is slim pretty young women, not fat pretty women and therein lies the difference between ASOS and a company such as Simply Be or Lane Bryant.

It’s like asking Porsche to promote a style that looks like a Jaguar. Both are beautiful cars but each have a specific look and target market and while Porche may incorporate some Jaguar features you will always have a Porsche looking like a Porsche. I hope that makes some sort of sense?

This is exactly what ASOS do, they take elements from main line but never go all out with changing the way they brand and promote on the whole.

Why is this? It’s because the UK (where ASOS is based) have not yet caught up with the US. The UK is a very small country and we are surrounded by magazines that simply want to show off ‘slim, slim’ and more ‘slim.’  Occasionally we have a flush of  plus love but it is more to do with trending rather than a constant perspective.

Summer is the worst time to be a fat Gal in the UK. Its ‘summer diet’ and ‘that bikini look’ overload. Not many of us can say in the UK that we are not affected by the media. Even me – for the first time in my fat adult life it has got to me this year. I mean terribly. I’ll explain more, further down.

Is it any wonder that a company that is based in this small ‘slim loving’ country targets the customers with the most sway? Not at all. That’s not to say there aren’t a lot of big people in the UK but its not anything like the US.

As you can see this was too long for a Facebook note but I’m very happy Monif brought it up. J

Never Say Never

Looking forward and with Curve’s continuing success you may find the size range expanded. You may ever find it expands to other items like shoes or possibly maternity. But that’s in the future and all we can do is to continue to support Curve and its team.

They really adore making these clothes for you. They don’t see why fat Gals shouldn’t look high fashion. They are pretty particular bunch of people who will not hesitate to demand several fits if an inside leg is not correct or the bust dart is one cm too far over from what it should be.

There have been things I’ve really loved but they’ve been cancelled because the team are not getting them perfect. Of course it’s a very true fit line and also one based on my shape (not all look like me LOL and you’ll note that if you’ve followed Curve from the beginning then the previous fit model was a slightly different shape to me) but surface to say they aim to please the majority. Judging by the activity on the Curve Facebook group they are pleasing a lot of people. I love them a lot.

But it’s Time to Say Goodbye to Curve

My friends, it is with a heavy heart I tell you that I will be leaving Curve soon. Plus my contract with my agency comes to an end next year. It has been an amazing journey with this team and with this brand and it’s with eyes filled with tears I write this. If I seem dramatic then it’s because it has been truly amazing. This was not an easy decision to make because those two days a week in fit sessions make me so happy. However on the whole I am not happy within myself or in my skin.

That’s right one of your poster girls is not happy. But we’ve been through this before right? You know I made a conscious effort to lose weight and get in shape last year. I dropped two dress sizes and then Curve came and I was excited but in hindsight I didn’t think it through. I didn’t think what a heavy strain on my mind it would be to never be able to change whilst in this job. Of course it makes sense I wouldn’t be a size 14 but in my mind I never thought as time went on I would get out of shape by doing this job. And I have.

I never realised that if a first time garment came in that was simply not cut right I’d have to go through the mind hell of thinking I had failed to comply with what has been asked of me. Every month (you know the time Gals) I bloat terribly. This can often cause me to gain a few cm on my stomach but reduce around my waist. This is bizarre and obviously the team are great with taking this into account but it’s still a head screw for me.

For the past few months I’ve found it very difficult to handle the fact I must stay the exact same size. Plus I’ve had to watch a family member very close to me gain and gain and now struggle to move. This person is active but as the years go by they are finding it harder and harder to lose the excess and keep active.

This could be me in 10 years time and I don’t want that. As I mentioned summer makes it worse because their is an overload of slim everything. Mostly for vanity and not really due to long term health. But still if you spend four hours a week looking in a mirror (as I have to in fit session) whilst also being in a place where super slim models are the norm to see walking the corridors you can see that plays some head games. Of course I wouldn’t feel so bad surrounded by people that looked like me as the norm.

I’m not saying I’m ugly – I’m just saying I don’t feel fantastic anymore. Not like I once did.

I like curves a lot. I don’t want to be a size 8 or even 10. My goal is to be back to a 14 (uk)

In the ‘Community’

This could be seen as conceding defeat against the machine of ‘slim is beautiful.’ I feel it’s just a personal decision of doing what I want with my body; just like you wish to be accepted for being fat (if you are). I think the bottom line is I don’t want to end up like the family member I speak of. I’m 35 nearly 36 and it’s time to make a huge life change and not be distracted by anything else.

You notice we are not all equal as plus either. In modelling I can never be booked for anything that showcases fashion. I’m stuck behind the scenes of fashion. I’ll leave you to ponder how that makes me feel.

I’ve had a good run as fat woman in the community who is known for many things, but in order for me to have more energy etc I need to make these drastic changes.

For the record I think ‘health at any size’ is a very misleading statement and we’d do well to define it better. You may not like hearing that but it’s true. I once was one of those people who said that, so I am guilty but over the last few months my eyes have been opened (once again.)

I always said I didn’t want to grow really old so screw it – let me stay fat. But over time and with the possibilities my new business has thrown up I realise I want long term health and I just want to walk into a store again and pick up a size 12/14 (UK).

I’ll never bash anyone who wants to stay as they are. That’s their choice.

To Evolve and Inspire

What’s so scary about this is that there are thousands of women who read my blog every month and love what I do but what’s scarier are the ones that have written to me when I was losing weight and said they wished they could do the same but feel that they would not be accepted if they did.

Ladies this is BS and we need to stop it. I cannot stress enough how deeply angered I am at the way some of you behave if someone is not ‘the right size.’ It throws the whole size acceptance thing out of the window. How can you expect to be accepted when you won’t accept others for their choices? If a slim woman wants to make and sell full figured clothes who are you to discredit her goal? That is just one example of what I’ve witnessed over the years.

There are ladies out there in the BBW community for instance who are hailed as goddesses and paid to be fat. But don’t believe the hype people. Many of them eventually resent it. Yep it’s money in the bank for them but when the party is over and they struggle to lose the weight they find it difficult and they also find it difficult to stay within the community they have built friendships in because of their new slimmer size.

This is not bitterness talking its fact and truth and if you read my blog you’ll know I give it in spades.

I will evolve and maybe I will inspire some along the way.

Looking Forward

So I just want to let you know that I will still be with Curve until they find a new fit model. Beyond that I will still be in contact with the team. As one team member has said, ‘I don’t know how we’re going to replace you?’ She wasn’t talking about the size issue she was talking about the connection I’ve helped make between lovers of the range, bloggers and the brand.

I have tried my very best to let you enjoy this journey with me and to understand how the process of making these clothes happens. I think I’ve done more than the PR team at ASOS have. I’m proud of that and I’m proud of each and every blogger who’s shared their pictures and write ups about the clothes.

Please don’t stop enjoying the range. The Facebook group will stay open so you can share things and let the team know how you feel and of course I will pop in and let you know if there is anything exciting happening if the team let me know.

The word on the ASOS street is they are reading blogs avidly with a view to having a Blogger’s day. It’s a rumour I hope comes true. The A/W collection is slowly coming in for fit and I’m just like WOW. Of course most of it I’ll be able to enjoy because these garments are coming to main line – but there are a few exclusives so enjoy them. And note, Curvettes that looking forward these exclusives and some other garments will be limited for exclusivity so don’t rely on them going in sale! J

I’m going to enjoy my new journey as a business coaching consultant (and occasional MUA) as well as keep this blog going with life, fashion and beauty news. And of course I’ll be updating you on my progression in weight loss and a healthier lifestyle for me. I may have to get the amazing Debra Mazda on board for some pep talks! J

Thank you to those who continue to support me and my life choices. My new mascot as you may have noticed by visiting my coaching site is a butterfly. I’ll leave you to ponder why it is so significant to me and my life path.

Be Happy,

V x

P.S I will let you all know when I’ve officially stopped being Curve’s fit model.

Find me here: facebook/ignitethescreen

New email vanessareece (at) gmail.com (please use this from now on and if you’ve sent me mail I have not replied to please send it again to this new address)

Fashion Picture courtesy of Asos.com

If you’ve been following my ‘Get a Grip’ series and have been enjoying my knowledge and thoughts within it then here’s the place where we join together and take it to the next level.

I am really excited about this exstention to www.vanessareece.com because it’s going to be based on helping bloggers and non bloggers take the knowledge and expertise they share and take it to the next level. I’m also going to be addressing product selling if you have a product or service you wish to sell.

Knowledge = product / service = sales

I’ve set up a separate newsletter which many of you have already joined and each week I’ll be motivating, inspiring and sharing my knowledge for free on how you can take what you love to do and know lots about, and not only spread the word effectively but package it to sell as a product.

Now most of you share knowledge already for free in your blogs. Without realising it you are allowing your voices to be heard, passing your knowledge to others and gaining interest. But it doesn’t stop there. Oh no!

I realise with some people giving knowledge away for free sits well, but packaging and selling your knowledge doesn’t sit quite so well. I used to be the same, believe me. I thought my knowledge was only something that should be given for free because I worried it wasn’t worth any money at all. It took me a long time to wake up and realise that packaging my knowledge into a saleable product was not wrong. It was no different from me packaging my knowledge in beauty and delivering a service as a make-up artist or consultant and being paid for that.

As you know free does not pay the bills, or get a new item of clothing, a new beauty product or a download of your favourite music off iTunes. It all costs money.

Whilst I’ll always embrace the passing on of a certain degree of knowledge for free I also think at some point one must look at the bigger picture and realise not everyone wants to scout around websites looking for every little detail they need. Why not put your knowledge and the finer details of it into something people can just buy and save them time searching for? If you don’t someone else will.

If I turned around to you and said. ‘Hey I’d like to know how you are able to get sponsors for your website, free clothes or beauty products.’  Well you may think this information is precious because you worked super hard to get to a point where that was possible. If I then said, ‘I’d pay for a good ebook or audio CD where you explain exactly what you did and other useful links that helped you,’ would you be tempted? You know  if someone is willing to pay for a service or product it means they are aren’t playing.

I read lots of blogs, facebooks updates and tweets each week and I cannot understand why aside from affiliate marketing and paid site advertisements people do not package some of their key knowledge in a niche and sell it to others. I also see how new businesses who are selling tangible goods don’t utilise the power of social media in building their customer or prospective customer base.

On average I write 12 blog posts a week – that’s like 12 chapters of a book if you think about it. Or possibly a few hours that I could be paid to do guest speaking and demonstrations. The point is I love, love, love having this blog, but I also know I love being paid to share my advice and expertise.

There are lots of behind the scenes work that I do that doesn’t even get mentioned on here but is vital to this site progressing and getting my voice heard. This newsletter will put a lot of what I do behind the scenes into a format you can easily take on board and use yourselves.

Just recently I bought two very different books. One was about mind sets and the other was about make-up. Both authors have readily given their knowledge on these subjects for free elsewhere but they have also packaged it into something that someone interested in that niche of their work can pay for, own and refer to without going through a gazillion site pages to find.

I have done it myself via an eBook on modelling. I know the mistakes I made in setting that up and the successes will be useful to anyone who wants to share their knowledge to people who want to buy it, whether it be from ebooks, audio CD’s, or public speaking.

Knowledge = product / service = sales

Even if you don’t blog but are selling an item or a service the newsletters may just help you in targeting your products to the people who want it.

You each have a voice/skill in a  field you love. If you’re ready to embrace that and learn how to make it heard, seen, and purchased then join my free ‘Get a Grip’ newsletter.

If you’re unsure ask yourself why?

Do you feel you have no authority on the subject because you haven’t got the site hits others do?

Do you feel that no one would pay for the knowledge you have?

Do you feel embarrassed to charge for your knowledge?

Do you think your products or service don’t really need much more than a website and a few flyers to spread the word?

The list is endless as to all the reasons why you wouldn’t want to take your knowledge in your niche to the next level.

Yes, it takes time and motivation. But if you have your own website or blog and you regularly post what you think or know on any given subject that gains you visitors then you are on the right path.

If you have a product or service then you have the ability to get a lot more interest in it.

Each week in this newsletter I’m going to share with you tips and advice I’ve found work for me, and some that haven’t, but they may work for you. We are each individual and may not necessary attract the same sort of people to our niche. Conversely we may all attract the same group and this is where identifying a key element on a subject you know lots about can set you apart from another person talking about the same thing.

Once again, look how many fashion and beauty books there are on the market. Look at how many fashion houses there are out there. Each one is delivering key products but they all have their own styles of delivery which attract different people.

Subjects or Objects.

If you know a subject well and enjoy discussing it then there are ways to mold it in your own way that would be appealing for someone to invest money in it and buy that knowledge.

If you supply a service like photography or styling, or maybe make clothes or accessories then your delivery of how you showcase your products is equally as important.

I’ve worked in retail and sales on and off for over ten years and what I know is this – hard sell leads to resentment from your buyer. The more personal approach leads to longevity of custom. Your service or item can look beautiful but are you really connecting with the right people who will not only buy it but also let others know how good it is?

The same goes for blogging. Who reads your site? Do they tell others about it? What about people who aren’t in your social media circle? How have they found your blog? Are you well versed in your area of blogging? The list goes on.

Our Journey

I didn’t come to this amazing ‘A-ha’ moment on my own. Oh no, I have found some amazing sites that I’ll share with you on each newsletter, plus give a shout out to people who have given me amazing advice about how best to share my knowledge and products and make money from them.

Once we start this journey within my newsletter I’m going to be asking for feedback and if anyone has any success stories then share them. I’ll share it in the newsletter so people can check out your site, product and service.

The reasons why I’m starting this new journey (or re-starting it I should say) is because I truly believe that we need to share success as we go. This will be explained in the newsletter.

I’ll also encourage you to think outside your normal mindset to make yourself more comfortable with your worth. There is a way of telling people you have something amazing to offer and ways that don’t always work in a certain niches.

You will see over the next month or so I will begin to place things on my site that are worth something to someone. I will share how I’m doing it, how I’m getting along and how I’m practically and theoretically dealing with my new adventures. All these things as well as juggle parenthood, family, fixed work obligations – the whole nine yards.

Over time the newsletter will also contain personal video links, podcasts and picture tutorials that will help you.

But why are you giving this newsletter with all your knowledge in for free, V?

Let me explain. I’d like to build this mailing list up and help people to accomplish things they’ve been told or thought for so long they couldn’t. I ask that if you learn something during the progression of the newsletter you simply share the link with someone who you feel would also be interested. They too can sign up, learn, share and do!

Not all my niche knowledge (I have a lot of niches) will be in these newsletters but a good fair amount to get you motivated and start your journey will be. You don’t have to search a million sites to find out what I can tell you in weekly newsletters. Plus, I’ve learned over time that baby steps are better than big ones. I want you to be able to consume the information in bite size pieces so you don’t feel overwhelmed.

Your success inspires and motivates me even more – which is a win win situation for us all.  I want to be able to say you know what, this person has taken my knowledge and is using it – look what they can do.

Take a look at a recent blog post by someone my words have helped motivate. I don’t know this lovely young lady, but she has found use from what I’ve talked about so far and I thank her for sharing that on her website. Please take a look.

http://catsandchocolate.wordpress.com/2010/05/27/food-for-thought/

So now click here and fill in the form, then confirm your email address when you get the confirmation email. Remember this has nothing to do with my regular monthly blog newsletter. This is separate and only for people who now feel they want to learn more about taking their niche to the next level. And if you’re struggling to identify your niche still join up because I’ll be talking about that too. Even if you’re very successful and have a product or blog which does well I still would encourage you to join, because remember – even I am a customer. The customer’s perspective is extremely useful to business owners!

Look forward to styling your minds!

V x

Click here to join the ‘Get a Grip’ newsletter

Read the ‘Get a Grip’ Series

1. Get a Grip!
2. Are You Taking a Grip of Knowledge?
3. OOOH You Make Me Wanna Shout!

Recent comments about this series. Thanks so much V x

Lauren10/05/28 16:10

This is a great post, Vanessa! I’ve read it all but probably not digested it yet. It’s a lot of food for thought as I seem to be struggling professionally – I’ve been trying to get a career in media for the past ten years, but it’s very difficult to stay afloat and as a result I feel I have no core knowledge on anything specifc…

Sorry, enough rambling about my life! It’s definitely a great post and I look forward to the next!  xx

jo10/05/26 19:13

you speak so much sense xx

this was seriously awesome.

the homework is going to take some time for me (i’ve been in a weird place lately) but i’m so glad you shared this.

Nomonde10/05/28 23:32

I loved this blog!! Not just because I was mentioned LOL! incredibly insightful and warm – thank you *huge hugz*

And I’m good at writing, loving people and making people happy. I’m growing into my voice of command – I think its a journey that pretty much teaches us something at every turn.

Additional artwork flower motif by ClaraXY

I’m so happy to be back from my one day hiatus, due to my pc problems. I felt like my right arm had been cut off  *I know, so dramatic* HA It was horrible not to be able to come on here and share.

I did however send out my newest newsletter so some of you know what’s coming up. If you notice as well I did ask my subscribers a question at the end. Please do me a huge favour and email me your thoughts on that question. I really need some input from you! Thanks so much! If you’ve just subscribed or are about to don’t worry; I will send the May Issue Newsletter out to you as well.

At 5 am I managed to finally get my interview with Faith Evangeline up. I don’t know why  but reading it again brought tears to my eyes. I guess it was half fatigue – but the other half was getting this interview from someone who is so passionate about their work/life. Inspiring!

Not being on my computer wasn’t all bad though. Having my iPhone and being able to tweet and Facebook really helped clarify a few things in my mind. Meaning, I had more time to digest information, visit interesting links and decide that the combination of all the information would be the inspiration for this blog entry.

Before I go on I’m going to thank a few people, since everyone helped (even if they didn’t intend to) to solidify my thoughts for this blog post (which will actually be in several parts)

@kimmoy http://www.thecurvycoach.com

@rachelspivey http://www.rachelspivey.co.uk

@blogtobelieve http://www.blogtobealive.com

@boombands http://www.boombands.blogspot.com

@mariedenee http://www.thecurvyfashionista.mariedenee.com

@StilettoLipstik http://www.mylipstickonhercollor.com

@AmeliaPontes http://ameliapontes.blogspot.com

@Vanoue3 http://lespitreriesdevanoue.blogspot.com/

@difinatalie http://www.definatalie.com/

Normandie & James

Now I’m going to tell you why I need to thank these people – and possibly more than I will mention in time…but if your name isn’t there be sure there are more to follow!

Change is coming…

There are so many fantastic things happening this year for people. I feel a great air of change, especially with people in my social networks on and offline. They are taking opportunities and running with them. They are also creating opportunities as well which I love to see.

There are some that are finding knowledge, information and strength from others – even if, right now they are unaware how to use it best and what their true purpose is.

You’ll remember I’ve mentioned in different interviews I’ve done that it’s completely Okay to get lost sometimes. Sometimes when we get lost we have an opportunity to reassess so much, and come back stronger and more determined.

There are some that are sharing their thoughts and knowledge about things that are of great worth to others. Knowledge pushes people in great ways!

The feeling of change alone when you embrace it can push you to seek out your own path and make solid choices in making those things happen.

There’s no wrong way

There’s no wrong way – but there is the long way. Oh my! Yes. I have been through the long way. Little did I realise that the quicker route to making my own goals happen, and indeed finding my right path was in the voices of the people that surround me, on and offline. Maybe I was too stubborn to see that, and maybe I didn’t think those voices held merit. Boy, was I wrong. They are the reason this fashion and beauty blog is here. They are the reason that this blog will evolve.

The social media boom and the blogging world have allowed me, and I dare say others to admit there may be better and more fun ways to achieve things. That’s a good thing – right?

But there is frustration that not everyone sees this – and so often I’m reading about people who have all the answers in front of them yet don’t want or can’t use the knowledge of others to find a positive route to their goals or possibly to gain comfort in their lives.

I think it’s time to get a grip.

I don’t mean that in a nasty way – far from it. Consider this OUR collaberative push forward.

I want to share with you how these people I’ve mentioned have helped me solidify my work, my blogging, and indeed my future goals. And also how important it’s going to be to follow people like them if you want to move your life forward in any way. This may even surprised the people I’ve mentioned.

I’m going to leave you for a few hours to digest what I’ve written. I can’t rush this post by putting it all into one entry. There is far too much to say and far too much to think about.

Digest, and meet me back here later. Visit the sites I’ve listed and get a feel for who these people are. I will explain about Normandie and James later also.

If you’re name isn’t on there don’t stress – I have more names to come!

Go style your minds,

V x

photo copyright: unknown

Today was a fabulous day for Saturday Sister Networking. I tagged the phrase after thinking that some of the best ways to connect with people regarding your business or brand is with other females who have businesses. As I mentioned on my other post about linking my make-up artistry work with a local boutique, its a pleasurable experience to chit-chat with fellow female entrepreneurs, swap tips and discuss the possibility of linking service to provide one big service.  It doesn’t have to be done on a Saturday but it’s a good day for connecting over a cup of coffee or in place where there’s a lot of ladies, like a beauty salon or boutique, for instance.

It’s not such an new idea either. Estee Lauder used to sell her products and give beauty advice at her local hair salon and the rest is history.

If you have a blog you want to promote and better still have it monetizing, or a business, then chatting with like minded ladies is a good way to promote it.

Today I had to go and meet with a beauty consultant as I have a make-up/skin consultation client next week and she uses specific products. I wanted to know a bit more about these and pick her up a goodie bag of samples.

When hooking up with people you always get, ‘how are you doing?’ and ‘what are you doing?’ That’s always a good invitation to discuss your business with them. Instead of going for the hard sell, it’s always good to chat first about your excitement for what you’re doing. This tends to get people even more interested, especially ladies, because I don’t know about you, but I love to hear when people are genuinely excited about something they are doing.

At some point they will comment on what you’ve said and hopefully that comment will be another invitation for you to show them a card, or write down a website address for them to check out, or possibly as I have done, get on the smart phone and let them see the site itself.

When I’m Saturday Sister Networking (or any day Sister Networking) the onus is not on what business or service I can sell but what I can get people really fired up with enthusiasm for. It’s giving people a clear idea of what’s going on in your life that hopefully cements in their mind enough so they will want to check it out, offer a lead, or at the very least remember your name if they discuss your service or business to friends, family and co-workers.

You see I have spent way too much time with The Curvy Coach, because we’ve often discussed how this sort of thing is instinctual for ladies in general but it’s often seen as a chore when you say, ‘I have to promote myself’.  If you want to promote anything you do, you need to be not only friendly and approachable but also ready to discuss at any time what you want to promote. Shyness is not optional. Also we seem to think that promotion online is all we need to do, but there are still so many people who don’t really go online or use social networking. So this is a great way to actually get offline and go out there and meet people.

So back to today, several business cards were given out to the consultant who was interested in my make-up artistry work in conjunction with photography work with Rachel Spivey . What started as a trip to discuss one of my clients ended with me chatting about mine and Rachel’s work. In turn the consultant was excited about possibly talking to her friends about our combined service for use with their theatre group.

The next stop was a nail salon where a lady has started to sell her costume rings  in there twice a week. We’d met very briefly before so kind of knew each other to say hello to, but there’s nothing like sitting down and really chewing the fat of business and services.

Like many new business starters (including me) it’s not always easy to see the bigger picture of chatting with strangers, or indeed other Sisters in business. Luckily my work in retail and modelling help – because I’ve been almost moulded to the art of go-getting and talking to complete strangers! But sometimes when you’re starting out and its with your own business venture you wonder if anyone will be as enthused as you. The answer again is generally women are excited by the enthusiasm of other women.

The connection with make-up artistry and rings selling isn’t very strong, but what about combining mine and Rachel’s skills and showcasing this ladies rings in shoots? On the hop I suggested to her that maybe she could hire out some of her pieces for shoots that Rachel and I are planning to do, especially the boudoir shoots where flamboyant vintage looks will be the theme. Why should her rings sit idle in between home and the nail bar, why not have them make some money just by being hired out?

At first she was perplexed so I had to explain more benefits, which was totally cool. I mentioned that any pictures that were used for advertising purposes (on our sites) would be linked to her name (another pro point for her getting a showcase site done) and that also it may be the case that a woman loves the piece so much she decides at the end of the shoot to buy it. Money for hire + money for a sale = Fabulous! She was so excited about this that she immediately gave me her details and said she would call me when she got her new business cards through (as I mentioned to her I liked to keep other people’s business cards as well as my own for cross promotion purposes) and also to arrange an informal drink to meet Rachel and see her portfolio.

The whole adventure took a morning to do, and it was fun. No hassle, no planning really, other than having business cards to hand and being open to chat and to listen. The real beauty of Sister Networking is you are sharing what makes you happy – if it’s work related that’s a big bonus.

There is no fussy board room to contend with, nor pre-rehearsed promotional spiel. It’s just girls, chatting and let’s face it – we’re all really good at that.

V x

Picture: Andre Yutzu

I wanted to share this interview with you because of all the people I’ve interviewed this person is one of my favourites. I found it the other day. The site it was on no longer exists – hence the reposting.

Another reason why I’m posting it here is to show you that not all Hollywood actors are stuck up their own behinds.

Maury Sterling is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met.

You may recognise his face? He’s done a lot of TV and most recently he’s been in Smokin’ Aces 1 & 2 and just completed the film version of the A-Team.

I feel a dinner party with Maury and the gang is way overdue – maybe when I’m in LA in summer we will make it happen!

Far From the Madding Crowd -

with Maury Sterling

by Vanessa Reece© 2005 – 2010 All Rights reserved

So Hollywood is a crazy place. On first glance it can be seen as a place where dreams mostly don’t come true. Where most of the people who wait the tables in restaurants are actors and actresses waiting for their big break. Some of them never get it but they still dream. Some get it for a fleeting moment. But there are a few who get to work with the biggest names in the business, live their dreams but still they remain just under the radar of the general public. And they like it that way.

Maury Sterling is one of those actors. You’ve probably seen him in more movies and TV shows than you think. He’s worked steadily with the best; honing his craft and enjoying every minute of it.

When I first met Maury I was in Hollywood. I was sitting in a trendy martini bar on Fairfax. He walked in and immediately turned heads. Why? Because he looks like a movie star. The walk, the talk, those eyes! Everything about him screams confidence. Yet when he talks about his roles it’s with a sense of humility, respect and thankfulness for every opportunity he’s been given. He’s a sweetheart and gentlemen. I’m guessing you don’t find many of those in Hollywood?

I saw Maury one last time during my stay – at a dinner party thrown by him and his girlfriend. Once again there was no time to whisk the man off for an interview. So we arranged to hook up when things were less manic.

We’re far from the madding crowd now, Maury and I. And I suppose that if we’d have still been in hustle and bustle of Hollywood I wouldn’t have got such a great interview. I’m extremely lucky to have met this man on his way up. But Momma always told me to share so ladies and gentlemen I give to you one of Hollywood’s best kept secrets.

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Vanessa : Maury you’ve been in the business for a long time. How did it all start?

Maury: I started acting when I was about seven. The story I tell is that I wasn’t any good at baseball so I got into theatre. Not really true though. I remember seeing kids doing plays after school and knew that I wanted to be a part of it. My first role was Little Daniel Cupid in my school’s production of “The Sacred Caterpillar”, a classic. Pretty much fell in love with it.

Vanessa: How do you stay focused and motivated to stay in acting when it’s so competitive?

Maury: Good question. And my answer might be, I don’t know. When it’s good, good writing, people, role, it is really great. And the competition is unavoidable. It’s hard not to take it personally, to hang myself on other people’s opinions. But that can be the death of an actor or artist. It helps me to travel, to learn, to do other things, to not take it too seriously and yet take it seriously enough that I always show up when it is time.

Vanessa: So when does an actor or actress turn into celebrity? Does it worry you that it may happen to you, where paparazzi camp outside your house and the gossips want to know about your love life?

Maury: I think that you are truly a celebrity if your name shows up in the crossword. Then you have really made it. I guess it does worry me a little. I mean, who knows if it will ever happen, and I guess I am supposed to want that in order to be aggressive about my life and all, but I prefer the actors who seem to be well respected and have lives that are below the radar. I don’t want celebrity. Too much work, and too many functions to get dressed up for. I’d rather hang out at the barn and play with the horses.

Vanessa: What are the perks of the job?

Maury: So far they have been meeting great people, getting to travel all over the world, getting to explore types of people and knowledge that I might not be exposed to otherwise. And a life that has given me free time to do my own thing.

Vanessa: And the less desirable side of acting?

Maury: The free time. I work enough to pay rent and live reasonably well. But my jobs don’t always last over long stretches. I have had those too, but lately they have been shorter, which means that there is a lot of free time to fill. I have been starting to write, and volunteer, and ride horses a lot, teaching etc. But the free time can be a killer. I have an over active mind which can run in circles and get me into some not so good places if it isn’t distracted. That is part of the focus and discipline that one needs.

Vanessa: You ever think of starting your own production company. So many actors have done that. I beg the question – what the heck is that all about? I mean I understand wanting to be in charge of what you make and be involved with but aren’t productions ten a penny in Hollywood?

Maury: I have started writing a few projects. A short film, a short story, and maybe a screen play. It is important for actors, well any of us, to develop our own projects, or hobbies, or lives so we aren’t “waiting by the phone”. And yes, nowadays, it seems like everyone is doing what everyone else is doing.

Vanessa: You balance TV appearances with film, and some stage work to boot. Is there one particular platform for acting you prefer?

Maury: My heart is in theater. It is such a dynamic and physical form of art. Body, voice, community, all things I like to play with. And I get to spend a longer time in a character, which is always rewarding, to get to live and breathe in something.

Vanessa: I can relate. I have to say there is something to be said about an actor who’s worked the boards. It really shows when they cross over to TV or film. Mel Gibson is a prime example of that. That said it must be frustrating when you go and do TV and film and the director says cut. You don’t have that in the theatre. You are able to give everything in each performance. Good or bad, there’s no retakes. How do you handle the change in genre?

Maury: It’s fun and frustrating. I am still learning, and developing technique. Finding stillness and truth. My tendency is to want to “show” what I am feeling rather than create a space from which expression can come. All the genres have their perks. In film and TV you can always shoot it again. When something is alive, in any genre, it is really exciting.

Vanessa: You’re first movie was ‘Outbreak’ with Dustin Hoffman, Morgan Freeman and  Rene Russo. You saved the town man! Seriously, you must have been pumped to get the role?

Maury: I was pumped and I was terrified. I think that I shot on the last day of the shoot. I remember people getting loaded having a blast. But it was Wolfgang Peterson directing and Michael Ballhaus as the DP. Big people. I was green. A guy named Dale Dye, who is in the film, but was also the military advisor was giving me direction through the headset I was wearing. He is a real military guy and had me doing push-ups between takes. But a lot came from that. It was a small part that a lot of people took notice of.

Vanessa: And what about your part in Hart’s War with Bruce Willis, Colin Farrell and Cole Hauser. I guess that was a pretty good gig to get. Right?

Maury: It was pretty great. We shot in the Czech Republic for 3 and a half months. Pretty much living in luxury. We stayed in downtown Prague and I travelled every chance I could. It was a crazy shoot and a great experience to be on a set like that with people of that calibre. So yes

Vanessa: I suppose with every role you play and every production you make you take something with you as an actor. What did you bring back from Hart’s War? Because you’ve got a heck of a lot of talent in that one movie.

Maury: There was a lot of talent in that group and a wide range of styles and types of people We had the movie stars like Willis and Farrell, both of whom were great to work with. Cole was great, the group of guys that I mostly spent my time with were a blast. We collected quite a few stories. And I got to meet people like Linus Roache and Marcel Lures, both incredibly talented and from very different backgrounds. It was an international cast. I guess I brought back all the joys and exposure that one gets from living in a foreign city and the stories of getting to watch the Big Boys do their thing.

Vanessa: I was watching Dinner For Five. Have you ever seen that show hosted by Jon Favreau? Basically John has four guests who’re in the movie industry. He sits them down and chews the movie industry fat with them in some nice restaurant. If you had to invite four guests in the movie industry to a Dinner for Five style meal who would you invite and why?

Maury: I hate these questions. Too much pressure. I’d invite my friends and girlfriend and just pretend like we were bigwigs. I don’t know – Paul Newman, Judy Dench, Rob Duvall, Ridley Scott, Wong Kar Wai, Noam Chomsky, and Daniel Day Lewis  but who knows if I’d like any of these people?

Vanessa: Would you cook? You’re a pretty good cook if you’re last dinner party is anything to go by. Sorry Maury I couldn’t resist. I was just reliving the night I saved Phil Cruz’s (co-writer/director Song Of The Knife), life with my knowledge of pesto sauce. You feel brave enough to share the story?

Maury: I’m just pissed it didn’t work. *laughs a lot* Sure. My girlfriend and I had a dinner party to which we invited Phil Cruz, his girlfriend April, you, Vanessa, and some other pals. We made/threw together some pesto on pasta, salad and garlic bread. At some point my girlfriend comes to me in the kitchen followed by Phil and tells me that Phil is allergic to nuts, so could I make him a salad without nuts. We then looked at his plate which was empty of the pesto he had just eaten. It kind of dawned on us that the pesto was made with a lot of pine nuts and Phil had eaten a good helping. He was fine for a while but then his eyes started to swell and the hives came out. It was such a perfect plan. But you saved him Vanessa.

Vanessa: Oh sheesh, it’s pretty sad that I know all the components of pesto sauce.  *laughs* You know he was still laughing in the car on the way home. Even when the hives were breaking out all over his body! He’s a fun guy no?

Maury: Phil is great. He is a blast to work with (on Andre The Butcher : Dead Meat). He has an eye for what he wants and he is totally free to improvise and has a good time. He takes fucking around very seriously. Great sense of humor and a good sense of how to live.

Vanessa: Maury do you have a dream? I mean do you have a plan for your career or are you one of these people in the industry who’s taking each day as it comes?

Maury: A little bit of both. I’d like to play Hamlet, a cop, do a western, own a ranch. I want to be a part of projects with great writing, that are intelligent, fun, funny, deep, that effect people. I’ve gotten some of my dreams, so now it is more about quality and depth. And working with like-minded people, good people, in whatever capacity. I’d like to get out of LA at some point. My life is pretty good.

Vanessa: You’d like to get out of LA? In what sense?

Maury: I always talk of getting out of here. Somewhere with more nature. I grew up in Northern California and feel very much at home there. It has great Feng Shui. I have pretty cliché Montana dreams. New Mexico. France. Luckily for now I have friends in all of these places who pretend to enjoy my company when I come visit. I find other places where I am in nature and can do hard work give me a lot.

Vanessa: I found something out about you when I was in LA and you know it surprised me and I don’t know why?  But I heard you still religiously take acting classes. Why do you do that? I mean you’re a great actor. Is it a case of keeping your talent sharp and your engine well oiled?

Maury: I always like to be doing something. And I go in and out of classes. I am not consistent. I will start to feel rusty and go back. I have been fortunate enough to study lately with Jeffrey Tambor who I find to be the real deal. But one thing he said to the class when I first studied with him was “I don’t want to see you here in a year.” Which I translate as, get out in the world, live, don’t hide in a class. Pick up some skills and then go out and use them.

Vanessa: I used to study acting in college and one of my favorite classes was improv. Do you like that Maury? How much do you get to do when you work?

Maury: Improv terrifies me. I tend to cling to structure. Lately I have been feeling braver and find that improv and fluidity lead to much more exciting work. That’s where I should probably take a class.

Vanessa: Has an acting job ever overwhelmed you to the point where you had to step back and take a deep breath for whatever reason?

Maury: I think what has overwhelmed me is the stress that accumulates around wanting to do a good job, or satisfy myself. I have had moments where I have frightened myself, where the role and the scene or play start carrying me and I don’t know where I am going. That has been scary at times.

Vanessa: Auditions are always something that’s fascinated me. How do you personally prepare and do you have any tips for the actors and actresses on how to get through an audition?

Maury: Be relaxed and focused. Make it your own. You aren’t going to get all of them. Some people to tell you to picture the casting directors and producers naked. I find that distracting. They want you to get the part. It makes their life easier. And often there is so much bullshit behind the scenes, so much out of your control, all you can do is tell a good and truthful and exciting story. Try and surprise yourself.

Vanessa: What do you like to do to unwind Maury?

Maury: Get out of town. Travel. Ride horses. Horseback riding has been a great hobby for me in the past few years. Gets me into nature, takes my mind totally off of LA and the acting thing. Do things for other people. Play. Read. Travel is a big one. Especially a place where the life is really different and the life isn’t all about entertainment and appearance (that is an unfair cliché). I went to a dude ranch in Montana last year for 3 weeks and worked and got dumped and stomped on. Kind of life changing and my work has been better since.

Vanessa: You’ve done a lot of TV work. Notably, CSI, Six Feet Under, Monk, Angel, ER, to name but a few. Do you ever get recognized when you’re out and about minding your own business? Or have you not had that whole ‘Weren’t you the guy in such and such’?

Maury: I get it now and again. It’s nice for the ego.

Vanessa: I was very impressed by your role in Charmed you played Lord Dyson. Did you have a coach for that English accent? It was pretty convincing I have to say.

Maury: Thank you. That is kind coming from you. I can’t remember if I watched any movie for some help. I don’t think so. I have always enjoyed playing around with accents. You Brits get to come over here and play Americans all the time. I just wanted to start evening the score.

Vanessa: Maury, take a deep breath and tell me the meaning of life?

Maury: Chocolate. The funny thing was, I almost took this question seriously and was going to try and give you an answer. That’s embarrassing.

Vanessa: But believe me, woman all over the world are probably now praising your name. ‘Maury understands the NEED for chocolate’! I think your fan following just hit record numbers. Congratulations!

Related Links:

- Maury Sterling IMDB Profile

* Title picture courtesy of Maury Sterling

The other day I was thinking about my use of  Twitter. Often it does appear from my tweets I use it for comments, conversation and saying nutty stuff but I also use it as a way to promote people I believe in, gain new information on subjects and where I can, of course tweet my own updates. Yesterday and today proved the power of twitter to me with two different occurrences.

Firstly, in case you were living under a rock, you can’t of failed to notice how Twitter maxed out yesterday due to all the Superbowl talk. You didn’t have to watch it to feel like you saw it as the tweets were rolling in thick and fast about each teams fight for victory. In fact someone named it Twitterbowl – it was quite something to behold, even if it was annoying that tweets were slow to update or would time out completely. Millions came together to share their thoughts.

Today I was minding my own business (who knew) when Kimmoy, the Curvy Coach, tweeted something about her ebooks that caught my eye. So I messaged her privately to give what I thought was a throw away comment. I should know that Kimmoy is a font of knowledge  and she instantly messaged me back a solution to something that I thought there was no solution for. She simply said, ‘you could do this..this may help.’ Ten minutes later I had purchased this ebook

I trust her as a business woman and so I had no fear in my mind that this ebook would be worth the price of a fast food meal. I received it immediately and began to read and so much fell into place about ebook/report writing, profit from that and actually where I’d not been utilizing my knowledge. It also gives a good insight into how people deal with being presented with purchasing an ebook and report. Invaluable to those who really want to write ebooks or reports and sell them on the Internet.

When I wrote my first ebook on modelling I had the mindset that I didn’t want to make a huge profit from it because I felt the industry already had lots of people trying to take a lot of money from women, especially plus-size women, but then two things happened last year and this year that changed my mind. What I didn’t take into account was the flip side to that ideal.

I looked back at what I’ve spent on my own career, including fees to my agency and every penny I’ve spent was spent because I believed I could do this and I was very serious in recouping the cost back. I have and more.  The point was, I spent money because I was serious.  There are a lot of sharks and hustlers out there who are willing to take your money – but the point is you need to observe what they offer better  and also take heed of recommendations from people you respect, these help in reducing the risk of being taken for a ride. Twitter and other social networks have definitely helped me do that especially in the last few months. While I’ve been tweeting, I’ve also been observing.

Secondly I’m good at  giving my time and money to other people but not so good at asking for payment for things that I do. And it’s important to note, I never mind giving time or talent as long as A) its helping get networking leads and exposure to my own site and B) when it’s not taken for granted and I should also mention, when it’s used  to promote something good.  I think as soon as the B part of the deal is broken I think – you are hustling me and I hate being hustled. I’ve cut people dead in their tracks for taking advantage of me. And sure there are sites that I link to that don’t link back to me – I am cool with that also because they are great information sites I want to share with people, or are made by people I respect.

I think if someone puts time, effort and a little money down along the way it means they are serious and that’s the sort of people I want to reach with my expertise.

So back to Twitter. For me it isn’t dead, it’s still a valuable tool if used correctly. Sure chit chat, have fun with it but be aware of the opportunities and knowledge which can be found if you dig a little deeper. By reading and contributing to the banter you gain an insight into how people think which is invaluable if you’re at some point wanting to target people to pitch your ideas and business ventures to. By keeping an eye on peoples tweets you can also have a whole new opportunity reveal itself and yes that can make you money.

Long live Twitter.

Follow me on twitter twitter.com/vactess

V x

Further reading  http://www.thecurvycoach.com/

As the daffodils try and poke through the soil and spring tries to arrive desperately too early I find myself trying to prepare my checklist for my return to modelling.

The other catalyst for this checklist came when I received a letter from my agency asking me if I wanted to go in this year’s book and renew my contract.

Last year was not a good year for anyone in the modelling or the entertainment world as most businesses who normally break the bank with advertising were keeping their budgets very low – thus not employing many of us.

I didn’t work much as a model last year but I also turned a few things down – bad money – bad jobs. It wasn’t the agency’s fault. But I felt the companies were lacking imagination with their projects. Again I think it was all to do with keeping their budgets low.

But this year I do feel a change in the air and I do believe that after April, when the new tax year begins, there will be a surge of creativity, money and work.

My work time as a model is going to be very limited. I no longer have the luxury of living in London so travel to jobs would be expensive, plus I now work a regular job which has zero flexibility regarding time off. I’m having way too much fun in it to quit and live like the starving artist I once was. Actually that’s a lie – I wasn’t starving, no, in fact when the good times rolled they sure did roll but with the economic crash I cannot afford to live that lifestyle and nor do I really want to. Since moving back to my home town, which is still very expensive to live in due to it’s commuter belt to London, I have become rather frugal with my cash. This month I still have money in the bank and it’s been a long month. I have no clue how that happened. I think it may have been luck.

So I’m preparing now for the time I’ll want to get some new independent pictures done. Ones I can share with everyone and ones I can use for my updated portfolio.
I want to work with a photographer in my town who’s work I see every day on my way to work. I already have full permission from a lady who’s loaned me bits and bobs for shoots before to come on into her boutique and get what I need. So I’ll spend the day with her in a few months and see what inspires me.

I plan to to really push the boat out with some different styles of imagery.

This photographer has the talent to take it all to the next level.  Hopefully we’ll gel enough to do more than one shoot – also depending on his fees. Time to save for those.

So I’ve given myself a time scale for getting back into mental and physical shape. I’ve modelled at times when I’ve least looked and felt my best and still gain praise as a model. But actually on some shots I really didn’t deserve it as I was not 100% bringing my A game. It’s the photographer’s credit I looked good.

February will begin with a total body detox and for the first time I’m going to get some colonic done. If I can stand it. My lord I’m having nightmares already. It’s not something I really want to go into but suffice to say – that end has never been something I wanted to be touched, let alone have a pipe shoved up it with a jet of warm water. But I feel it’s something I have to do. Christmas came just as I was starting to feel lighter because of different eating  but that of course went out the window. This junk needs to come out and I know with colonic it will and a detox it will.

My skin will be disgusting – I have no doubt about that.

I’ll break out like a mutha-ucker. But no pain no gain and that’s also why God put  me in a position where high end skin care is at my fingertips. Working on a beauty department has its advantages.  I’m leaning a lot towards Clarins right now as a brand to use, although Clinique has been very good to me in the past where breakouts and clearing blemish scars are concerned. Being mixed in colour I do tend to scar when I break out so I need something to get my skin clear again.

Water! Oh my – well I either love it or hate it. I go through phases of drinking a lot and then nothing at all. My biggest weakness is cola and I tend to OD on sugar. So chocolate and sweet drinks will be out as of next week. I will be fine after the first 48 hours because after that its willpower.

Getting fitter. If you slack off with exercise it shows in less than a month. I’m testament to that. Christmas was terribly busy for me at work so I didn’t have time to go to the gym. I can’t stress enough how burning up a sweat not only helps the body but it helps the soul too. I want my curves but I want them toned and that’s all there is to it.

So these are my plans – a more focused healthy me and my reward will hopefully be some great pictures for my portfolio and of course to share with people who like my work.

The ideas are flowing and now its time to get my body and mind into a good place so I can pull his off with grace and ease.

The countdown begins.

V x

Related Links: http://vanessareece.com/introducing-debra-mazda-shapely-girl/

You may notice changes on my blog here at vanessareece.com but those changes go far beyond what you see here. The changes are actually happening in my life.

I’ve come to a lot of conclusions over the past few months and the last conclusion was that I’ve pampered to other people way too much. I’ve tried to please certain people way too much. I looked up to them way too much. Guess what – none of them deserved it.

I needed to stop kissing some people’s butts and brake away. One of those butts I kissed for way too long and let me tell you – the possibilities that have presented themselves to me since said butt kissing ceased have been great. But then I suppose it is what you deem as great possibilities. Some would say I’m taking a step down from the glitz. I say I’ve realized there is more to my life than money and pleasing other people in order to be accepted because I’m fat!

Since my conversation with Debra Mazda and my growing unease with the way my weight is physically taking its toll on my frame I’ve decided to step up my exercise and remove some lbs and also kick some bad habits. I AM STILL AGAINST DIETS. I feel I’ve just been making ‘majority’ of men happy by staying fat. I think the adoration has made me complacent and lazy.

I still believe we should accept all – fat or thin and ACCEPT when people are happy being the weight they are. But it struck me with the messages I receive in my inbox – some teenager somewhere thinks that being over 200lbs is o.k. and they too can be glamorous. No one says you can’t be glamorous – you just can’t really be healthy. It’s not o.k. – most of us are not healthy – Let’s be honest and stop BS-ing ourselves; if you’re wheezing, or you’re waddling down the road from A – B that is not healthy. You know it – I know it.

As plus-models we are faced with a huge dilemma – We are paid to be fat. We get gigs because we’re fat. Or if you’re an adult model you get members from being fat. Yes, that is the long and the short of it.
I know for a fact I will not get any work from my agency if I lose a dramatic amount of weight. I accept that and I’m sorry but getting a nice gig worth a grand is not worth me feeling like this at age 34.

I have always maintained I don’t want to be really, really old. I want to enjoy life – but at this size – I’m not. I’m really not anymore. We all die – one of my most famous sayings. But if I can have my 30′s and 40′s and even 50′s feeling good. I’d like that better than feeling like I do now.

I feel faint, I have hot and cold flushes, I ache like a you-know-what. I’m 34 and I feel much, much older.
I’m TIRED!

O.k. I’ll be stoned on the plus-size mountain – bring it! Please know that this is not a dig at my fellow fat sisters – this isn’t about you really, this is about me. But if you feel a tinge of anything maybe you need to analyse why?

I think many plus-size women build this reserve of stubbornness (as I have done) or maybe they don’t feel like shit or struggle to walk or breath? I’m happy for them and I’m sure as hell not going to preach because I know how it annoying it is. No one wants to change if they feel they’re being told to. Plus – why change when men are telling you, you’re so sexy as a fat person? – Because we should not look for validation from others all the time. Validation should not be needed when we are doing something that enhances our well being and knowledge of who we are.

I had to come to this point on my own. I knew there was no changing it.

Some models may bathe themselves in fan attention and feel that will be enough to keep them going. Fans are wonderful – but they should never be the soul justification for who you are and what you do.

Possibly you have a lovely hubbie or boyfriend who adores you and accepts you fat – well no need to change? I think there is every reason. If he accepts you for you, then he should support your journey to a healthier weight. No diets – just better eating and exercise. You will get to a weight that is better for your body.

I used to believe I was healthy because I didn’t feel any side effects from being over 200lbs. But the last four months I’ve really felt it. I hurt! I hurt to the point I’ve cried.

FACT: Most plus-models I know at some point have had respiratory problems due to their weight.
FACT: Most plus-models I know at some point have been on diets hoping to reduce their weight.
FACT: Most plus-models I know have complained about their weight being a problem but don’t want to lose too much in case they lose their fan base.

Debra Mazda has saved my life. A dramatic claim but actually I ignored this lady for several months because I didn’t want to admit I was wrong and what she was saying was right.

Only a small percentage of fat people can say they are fat due to anything but not eating right and not exercising on a daily basis.

Once I stopped doing my Bikram Yoga and consistent power walking each day I put a lot of weight on. She had the answer I didn’t want to hear.
I can run around all day but if I’m not eating breakfast and then eating past 9pm a high carb meal – then I would not expect to be anything other than fat. If I don’t actually exercise and sweat on a daily basis what do I expect?

There was a time I was comfortable and it’s not really about looking a certain way – but I think you radiate your feelings and I feel horrible for the most part. I want to keep the lovely curves, but I need to tone, lose some lbs and strengthen my core. I am very weak right now.

My check-up was fine at the Docs but of course the weight came into conversation. I have ignored him every time he’s said anything about it – but now I know – he’s not foolin’.

Debra Mazda has also eased my worries about guilt. In my recent show with her she told me not to stress out about the slip of a take out. The reasoning was simple – you just make the next day better – burn it off and plan your nutritious meals better.

Debra says above all else the road to a healthier you is ‘A LIFE STYLE CHANGE’

I decided to make some changes before I even tackle food or consistent exercise.

1. I GAVE UP SMOKING
   
2. I GAVE UP FIZZY/SODA DRINKS
   
3. I FELL IN LOVE WITH MY HOME AND ESPECIALLY MY KITCHEN AGAIN
   
4. I OFFICIALLY MOVED BACK TO THE COUNTRY.
   
5. I’VE ACTIVELY SET UP MY NEW BUSINESS AND LOOKING FOR A PART TIME JOB (I AM SLOWLY WINDING DOWN MY OLD LIFE TO REPLACE IT WITH A NEW ONE)
   
6. I HAVE MY SON HOME PERMANENTLY. (YES THAT WAS LAST MINUTE BUT I’LL EXPLAIN MORE SOON)
   
7. I HAVE WEEKLY MEETINGS WITH MY BUSINESS MANAGER (WHO HAS BECOME MY FINANCIAL COUNCELLOR)
   

Those seven initial steps are the emotional things I needed to do before I even tackled finding a nutritious food plan or regular exercise.

I WANT TO BE FREE

Vanessa Reece