One thing I always note is how I’m served in different places.

After being in retail on and off for the last ten years or so, I’ve probably done every customer service course under the sun. Also having worked at management level, I have also had the good fortune to be able to supervise retail staff regarding the way they deal with customers.

Make no mistake – some customers are hellish. Let’s not sugar coat it. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try to please, some people seem intent on making your life as a salesperson a misery. Been there, done that, and have several t-shirts with ‘just had the customer from hell,’ written on them. They’re all in pink if you’re wondering.

Anyhow this article is not really about serving people it’s about being served.

Back to Today…

Louis dragged me into a well-known clothing store to look for the latest in skinny trousers that he absolutely had to have!

After looking through the rails we noted they didn’t have Louis’s trouser size, so I walked up to an assistant who was busy stuffing a bag with paper to display.

I asked very politely, with a big fat grin, if she had the trouser size I was looking for.

She briefly looked at me, then turned back to what she was doing and told me, over the loud music playing in the store, that they may have the size in the delivery that had come in but she wouldn’t know for sure until she’d looked at the delivery.

Being the experienced sales person that I am, I expected her to stop what she was doing, look at me, move a bit closer to speak so I could hear her, and finally offer to run to the stock room to have a gander.

No such luck. She told me to come back when the order was put out on the floor. The date of that she decided to keep to herself.

Immediately Louis knew he was not going to get those trousers from that store because his Mama had just been rudely dealt with.

Even at 14 years old he could tell that this was not the way to deal with a customer. When we’d left the store I asked him what he’d do if he worked in a store and had to answer a customer’s question.

“Well, I’d stop what I was doing, walk up to them and smile. I’d try to answer their question the best I could and take them to the item if we had it in stock. If we didn’t, I’d offer an alternative and then if that didn’t suit, I’d find out when we’d be getting the item in and make the customer aware of that.”

That’s my boy!

How can it be that a 14 year old knows how to deal with people in a scenario he’s never experienced? (e.g. working in a shop)

It’s because Louis understands that we have to treat people exactly the same as how we wish to be treated.

It’s not rocket science.

Now let’s skip back a few months ago to the same store but a different assistant who was happy to physically look for the item my son wanted, offer alternatives, and also (strike a light) link sell something else.

Yes, the experience made my purse a little more lighter than it should have been, but it was a nice buying experience with an attentive assistant who aimed to please.

When you Sell…

Put yourself in the customers’ shoes and think.

Is it important to you to get a smile when you need help?

Is it nice for you when someone stops what they’re doing and gives you their full attention?

Does it feel good to get extra time with the assistant so they can tell you more about the item they are selling?

Let me tell you something…

Women in particular tend to spend more when they are dealt with this way. In makes us feel quite special.

Do note: Many of us don’t like be hard-sold to.

Being chatty, conversational and attentive, has much more link selling potential than being abrupt and stand-offish.

It’s a no-brainer really, but judging by my experience today, some sales assistants still don’t get it.

Unfortunately for that company they missed out on a nice chunk of cash, because not only did we want one pair of trousers, we wanted two, plus additional items.

If you have staff please spend some time doing some half hour training. Note their sales and progress and observe how they deal with people.

If you own that business, you cannot afford to have staff who don’t give 100% to your customers.

I come from a retail niche whose customer service and sales performance is highly ranked, and I’ve seen people loose their job if they fail to perform.

It’s not always about what you sell or the demand for it. It’s actually how much you care about the people you’re selling to.

V x

P.S

If you’d like information on how I can motivate your staff and get them to realise the potential of good customer service, you know how to find me.

I’m going to break it down into two sections.

1. My experience of Leamington Business Network Meeting
2. The overall potential of attending networking meetings in your local area.

My Experience of Leamington Business Network and their twice monthly meetings.

I actively searched for a structured networking event in my local area and never expected to find anything.  But by using twitter, I connected with the Leamington Business Network and once I’d registered my interest, one of the organisers contacted me to confirm when the next meeting was.

Unfortunately due to last minute ‘Oh my goodness I have to have a breakfast with complete strangers and I’ve just started my lifestyle change’ moment, I made the decision as I was dressed and ready not to attend, for fear I would be presented with a full cooked English breakfast and nothing more.  That’s a nutrition nightmare for anyone trying to change their eating habits.

After contacting the co-ordinator and apologising, she said she totally understood and told me when the next meeting was taking place.  She also told me about the eating options – which was nice of her to do.

This was the first thing I noted; The organisers are very approachable and non-stuffy.  That was a good pull for me to get up this morning and find myself surrounded by business men and women who serve my local area and beyond.

So, to the meeting…

It is hosted in a lovely restaurant where the food is simply delicious.  Seasons Restaurant, if anyone wants to know.  I’m always aware of vibes when I walk into a place, and instantly I felt very comfortable.  Partly due to some friendly ‘hellos’ from the gentlemen sitting at my table next to me.

The format for the morning was to spend some time talking about the 60 second pitches you wanted to deliver.  My table (which consisted of two of the organisers) got a little side-tracked and I must admit, I was totally unprepared. But then again I hate to feel like I’m reading from a script.  So I just rolled with mine.

The prospect of delivering 30 second pitches about your business may fill you with dread.  But honestly, this exercise is one of the best ways to get used to talking to groups of people.

People rush, fumble their words and some, like me, go over their 60 seconds and get stopped by the tap on the glass.

But it doesn’t matter – at least you’ve made people aware of who you are and why you’re there.

I chose to do my 60 second pitch using one of my greatest gifts – which is my personality.  HA!  I have to tell you at that time in the morning my personality isn’t normally fantastic, but I was enthused by other people, so I used that as a motivator.

I asked the attendees if they had  goals for the week or the next few weeks in which they wanted to achieve?  Yes, a little audience participation.  Some people didn’t want to say anything and others raised their hands and nodded.  I continued with a smile and said, ‘What? No one has goals and you’re in business?!’ *cue laughter from the attendees* It was a nice icebreaker.

I told them about giving people the ability to achieve goals and igniting self-belief.  The important thing here is that I didn’t go into the whole ‘I’m a coach’ and take it from there.  There had to be some rapport.  And like many of the attendees, their business maybe targeted but it’s still diverse.

I felt good when I was finished – and I didn’t mind I ran over time.

When breakfast was done there was an opportunity to go around the tables so each person could give referrals and/or tell others who they were looking to work with or needed leads on.

This was super interesting and although I had no referrals, I did ask that people make themselves aware to me, so if I had any clients I felt would benefit from there services I would have some information to hand.

The Diversity

Leamington Business Network is a diverse group.  From charity organisations, property development, architects, natural health care specialists and creative people too.  I really was very impressed by the different types of people there.

At the end you have a chance to pass out your business card, talk to people face to face, and generally get to know a little bit more about them.

There is also a business card box you can pop your cards into and get other people’s business cards from. Very handy!

Conclusion

I walked out with lots of business cards and some potential leads to collaborations, clients and general offers of meeting up with people for coffee to find out more.

When I got home I already had an email waiting from someone, and several more followed throughout the day.  I also emailed a few myself and I have more to email tomorrow.  And fantastically, I received an email to book a solid day to meet up for a 1-1.  (I’m really looking forward to that.)

I really loved this experience.  I am very excited to go again and I’ve registered my interest to facilitate a group presentation on a certain topic I feel would benefit everyone who went to that meeting (and no, it’s nothing to do with my business.)  I have to go on the waiting list,  but that’s fine with me – at least I’ve set the ball rolling.

Leamington Business Network is highly recommended for established and new business owners in the Warwickshire area!

I warn you; they may have to put people on a waiting list to join soon since its proving to get more popular each time they meet.

If you’re in Leamington Spa or the sourounding areas and would like more information on Leamington Business Network then please click here.

The overall potential of attending networking meetings in your local area…

Nothing compares to actually getting out there and telling people what you do, how you do it as well as learning what other people do.

You will meet lots of diverse people – many will have nothing to do with your line of work.  But the potential to collaborate, get clients, and swap ideas is hugely beneficial to any business owner.

The biggest hurdle is finding a good structured meeting which is also fun to be at.  Sometimes it’s trial and error.  And sometimes, like me, you just find an excellent first base.

Most networking meetings do ask for a fee to cover food or possibly a special speaker, so be prepared to pay for the experience.  My personal experience with my networking meet-up today was not expensive (£10) but I do know other meet-ups that cost more than that to attend.

Get recommendations if you can but also use your own research.

I felt pretty secure in my decision to go to this meeting group because the organisers have their own businesses which have a web presence, which I could read about, and also…  it felt nice just to have a friendly email banter with one of the organisers.

To0 many times we rely on the internet to give our business a kick start when the simple fact is that you have to get off your behind and seek out people off the net and talk to them.  It helps your business progress immensely for so many reasons.

It may be nerve-racking and it may be fear-inducing to meet up with a group of strangers and pitch your business.  A little piece of advice is –  be yourself.  Even if you fluff up, it doesn’t matter – each and every one of those people who will be networking with you will have had those moments.  Plus you’ll probably find there will be people who are new to off-line networking too.

Everywhere Else…

If you’re looking for off-line networking opportunities in your local area, then start with Google.  Do some smart research before you attend meetings to make sure they are operated with the interests of all those that attend, and not just the facilitators who want simply to pitch their business.

There is a lot more I could go into, but I don’t want to write a guide here.  If you’re attending a network meeting and need more in depth guidance on how to approach and mentally prepare, you know how to find me.

Vx

Lifestyle changes such as the one I have made recently, require a moment of complete and utter confusion.

I’ve always said; in order to be found you have to be lost.  It’s perfectly okay to be in a space where nothing makes sense and you’re totally confused.

Often in this day and age people stay in that confusion for a long time.  It’s like a little mouse turning in a wheel.  Try as you may, you simply cannot get off that spinning wheel.  You feel exhausted and fed up with life.  Most of all, you feel no one understands your plight.

I’ve had this happen to me in my life.  When my father passed away was probably the darkest time I can think of.  Day in and day out I would be living my life in darkness.  I took the pills the doctor gave me for depression, but even those were a temporary fix, so I soon came off those.

The first step to moving forward is dare to open your eyes to people that are living the life you want to live.

Who inspires you and why?  Write it down.

Viewing these people as lucky or better than you is not the plan.  The plan is to recognise what they have done, and are doing that which makes their lives seem blessed in every sense.

Whilst many turn to religion for comfort, that is not the only route you can go down when you’re in a dark place, or stuck on the wheel of frustration.

You need a jolt from somewhere.  Even if it’s one that says, ‘Why can’t my life be better or like that person I admire?’  It’s the jolt that says loudly,  ”I’M SO SICK OF THIS DAMN WHEEL OF FRUSTRATION.  I WANT TO GET OFF NOW AND MOVE FORWARD.”

The simple truth is – that jolt is staring you in the face.

We all have the power to progress and achieve things we never thought possible.  But the simple and hard truth is,  it will not hand itself to you on a plate.

I look at successful business people who’ve made billions and research their history.  Many of them never finished school with accreditation.  Many were not born with silver spoons in their mouths.  Some have even gone bankrupt before they actually made the bulk of their money.  They must have had dark times too, or times on the wheel of frustration.

I look at people who are always happy. Even when they’re down it’s only in a blink of an eye – never more than a day. Why do they seem so together? Why don’t they let the envelope of darkness close on them completely?

Self Belief

In the last month or so I’ve gained incredible self belief – belief that I can get myself from one place to another.

It’s hard work to trust yourself though, isn’t it?  Especially when there are so many people telling you to trust everything else but yourself.  It’s often easier to shrug and think that what you have right now is all you will ever have.

You are wrong.  But I understand how you feel, because at certain times I have been there too!  It’s so much easier for many of us to admit defeat or put things off until tomorrow.

Self Belief

Self Motivation

Discipline

Willingness to challenge yourself

All these things take hard work and sometimes giving up the beliefs you’ve held so dear.  Or the belief system you’ve had ingrained in you since childhood.

If ever I need that jolt to put the four things above into action.  I look around and see who inspires me.  I note the reasons why they do and what they have about them that I feel inspired by.

THAT IS MY JOLT.

THAT IS A GOOD JOLT FOR ANYONE.

Use that power, instead of being irritated, that someone has more than you or a better life than you.  Most of us have been to that place.  We let it linger until it turns into bitterness or jealousy.  I don’t know about you, but those things never got me anywhere.

Inspiration is everywhere.  Open your eyes now, see it, note it, embrace it, and let it jolt you off that wheel of frustration.

Who inspires you and why?

V x

Let’s run down the autumn and winter colour trends that are pretty much “evergreen”.  (Meaning they never really go out of fashion.)

There are two clear trends running this autumn and winter:

1. Sheer minimalist using golds, rust browns and shimmer effects.

2. Full smoking eyes using deep rich plums, dark blues, and blacks.

For lips, your key investment would be either a nude (with a hint of peach) lipstick or deep red/burgundy.  Anything that screams, ‘I am a Vamp’ will do.

Yes, we’ve been here before, Gals, so it’s not such a big advancement in style.

But the way you can apply these colours varies slightly.

If New York and Paris Fashion Week was anything to go by, then you’ll know that the messy, confused look is in.

Think Vampires, Goths with touch of pin-up.

Of course as I said minimalist is also in so there is a choice for a groomed look if you like to play down your make-up.

These stunning pictures from Dolce & Gabanna have the two looks down pretty well.

But there are some variations as I’ve said.

Chanel

Clearly Chanel Make-up is in a league of its own.  The reason being is that Chanel tends to make their trending colours limited edition, therefore, once they are gone they never come back.

This is why you see Chanel devotees begging Chanel Consultants to be put on the list to get trending shades before they are even released!  I have witnessed this first hand.

But hang on a minute!  Are my eyes deceiving me?  Is this deja vu?

I’m pretty sure we’ve seen variations of these trending eye colours before with Chanel;  (see below) particularly the nail varnish shades.

Notice they’ve re-issued Rose Jade here, which really has surprised me since ‘the buy it now, gone tomorrow’ theory is kind of blasted out of the window!

Estee Lauder

I can’t really tell the difference with their new shades but here’s the promo.

There are two different looks in their Blue Dahila Autumn Winter trend.

One is a mix of pink, peaches, and nude tones and boosted with deep blues and greys.

The other is based more on plums, pinks, and variations of lilac.  Just for good measure they threw in a bit of green.

This, to me, is a little more spring/summer.  But for those of you who can’t get enough lilac, this is for you.

The benefits of lilac and light greens like this is that they give the illusion of the eye looking wider and more awake.

But no red for Lauder this season?  Boooo!

YSL

I love the way YSL never give a hoot what season it is – they just bring the colours.  This is such a beautiful look.  Still vamp but with a twist.  One of their key shades this A/W is the stunning metallic electric green which they’ve mixed with purple.  Of course not many would be brave enough to wear this because let’s face it; it could all go horribly wrong and look like you’ve been punched in the eye!  Still, you can block the colours and lesson the spread of eye shadow to make it more workable.

But who’s got the red lipstick to die for?

This is so lovely.  My kind of shade for winter.  The picture above is from Clarins, who are more well known for their fabulous skincare – but don’t pass them by when you next visit your local department store.  I’ve found that Clarins have a lovely selection of make-up and they are totally bringing it with this shade (Joli Rouge).

Well this is my take in Autumn / Winter Make-up 2010.  Using deep shimmer blue and emerald and going to town. This much eye/lip make-up may not be to everyone’s taste, but you have to judge the amount you use in your own comfort zone.  But do experiment – even if you just mess around and don’t go out wearing that look.  Just play!

I think I look like Tim Curry in Rocky Horror Picture show – and do you know I don’t mind paying homage to that look. HA.  Louis said I look like a Vampire Goth, but he thinks it’s fab.  Probably best to take it off before I go to the gym though.  hehe

V x

It felt fantastic!  I was excited and I felt accomplished.

Here are some pictures to share  and maybe they’ll inspire you.  They may actually scare some of you. LOL

I would say as a larger woman, I’m not daunted by going to the gym.  There are ladies and men bigger than me that are there, and some that are slimmer than me.  All ages too!

If you don’t fancy the gym then ask around and see if you can find a work out partner to join you in the park for a walk, light jog or even biking.  You can also do workouts at home – but you do need a lot of willpower because it’s easy to give up when no one is watching right?

I Believe

It’s just about firstly finding that ignition in your mind.  I think partly mine is determination but there is something else…

In life (even business) if you want something with every fibre of your being, you will get over nerves, fear, and even disappointment to thrust forward.

Every time I walk into the gym for instance, I feel invincible.   If you’ve been reading my diaries on Debra’s site then you’ll know last week I felt disappointed with myself because I didn’t do the work out I wanted one day.  I lost energy quickly.  I had to stop and think why before I ran to comfort food.

In a nutshell; I had not prepared my body with enough food (fuel) to actually get through my workout.  I recognised the issue, addressed it, and now I’m fine again.

I’m going to be revealing a little secret very soon that will work with any goal that you’re finding hard to achieve.

It’s called  ‘SOE’ and it’s really how I’ve managed to come to a point where I wanted this goal so badly, I will not let anyone or anything pull me off track.  Like I said, it can be used for any goal in life or business.  It will aid your determination to succeed and will allow you to brush off setbacks easily.

More about that soon!

So here are some pictures…

Firstly, a picture of me looking sweaty on a stationary bike.  Oh the glamour of it all.  Hehe!

I sweat like a you-know-what when I work out, and actually only a few months ago I would have loathed anyone to see a picture of me like this.  But screw it – when I see this picture, I know I’ve just kicked it hard.  There is no shame it being proud of a job well done!

The next picture will seem boring (honestly you maybe thinking, ‘why has V put that up?’).

It’s there to remind me how important keeping notes on our progress is.  For me, working out can’t be done blindly with no measure of success.

Even in business I’ve always been taught to keep track of developments, targets, and achievements.  It’s common sense and it helps us stay focused in our goals.

Okay, now the last one – I’m happy to show this because it means I upped my resistance level and managed to complete 400 calorie burn on the bike.  I actually went back on it later in my session and completed an additional 135 calorie burn.

That’s roughly about 40 minutes bike cardio (with resistance too) – sounds like a nightmare scene for some, but to me it was pure bliss knowing I did it, and knowing that only a few weeks ago I could barely do four minutes on the bike!

If this makes you cringe don’t panic.  I’m going to talk about fashion and beauty shortly.  LOL   I know some of you may have missed that.  There is a twist though.  Muahahahaaaaaaa!  *evil grin*

The Facts

I chose new potatoes for this dish.

What you’ll Need

Handful of new potatoes (obviously here I used more – but really I didn’t need to as I  could only eat half)

2 free-range eggs

2 tsp of Piri-Piri Seasoning

1 small red onion

1/2 red pepper

1 tsp of extra virgin olive oil

Recipe

Half the potatoes and steam them for 8 minutes.

In a warm pan, place the olive oil and seasoning (I actually crushed the seasoning a little more – to make it finer).

Place the onions and red peppers in the pan and gently fry them.

Once the potatoes are done, put them in a oven proof dish and put the onions and peppers in there t0o.  Give it a little stir to distribute the seasoning, onions, and peppers with the potatoes.

Put the two eggs on top and place under the grill for a few minutes.  You notice on this occasion I kept the yolks as opposed to just the whites.

Serve immediately and enjoy.

This is a super quick and cheap post work out meal full of protein and carbs.

Remember the whole point of this is for the protein to aid muscle recovery after the work out.  The carbs in potatoes are complex carbs and help fuel the body.  Plus, as you can see by the chart, you get other goodies in your body by consuming potatoes.

Potatoes only really become an issue with maintaining a healthy diet when you start adding butter, cheese, or anything else which is high fat.

I’m not trying to invent the wheel here.  I listened to my body – post workout, and it craved a meal like this.

Although tired after my workout, I ate this within 30 minutes and was okay to carry on with the rest of my day without feeling heavy or bloated.

Even if you’re not working out at the pace I am – a meal like this is easily digestible and not calorific like a baked potatoes with butter topped with cheese.

Potato Nutrition Guide courtesy of Potato Council

Yes!  It’s been two weeks since I started working on my new lifestyle change.  I’ve now lost 9lbs as of today.

THIS HAS BLOWN MY MIND.

The first week I lost 3lbs and this week I’ve lost 6lbs!!!   Now let me tell you I wholly believe that huge amount of this second week loss is water bloat.  Plus, I’m now off my girlie time so that has also aided my weight loss.  3lbs is really the limit that most nutritionists say is okay to lose in a week – so while my results this week are astounding and encouraging, they should not be considered the norm.

This week I thought I’d only lost 1lb (mid-week) but today told a different story.  I had to double check the scales!

I’m drinking stacks of water.  I’m also taking a lot of Vitamin C, via fruits/natural juices and more caffeine than I normally would.  Nuts and fresh fruit and vegetables are also on my list.

I am balancing my cardio with my weight training.  I have a few days where I’m not at the gym but I stay active.

I feel amazing!  I’m really loving my new journey and seeing changes in my body and stamina daily.

I had one glitch in the week where I felt like a failure at the gym and nearly headed for the chocolate in the supermarket, but when I stood and looked at it I knew exactly why I had not been able to complete my work out.  It was due to the foods I had not eaten before hand.  I just didn’t have the energy because I did not eat what I should have.  Lesson learned!

Yesterday, I did a yoga class, came back home and cleaned my kitchen from top to bottom (including the cooker) and painted two areas of my lounge which needed touching up.  I’ve been putting off these jobs for a long time because of lack of energy.  Not any more.

Yes, I’m working hard at the gym but I’m not on my knees crying.  I sweat like a pig (not attractive lol) but with each bead of sweat I know my body is changing.   My gym is so friendly, which helps a lot.  People of all shapes and sizes are there for their specific goals.

My goal is to drop 50lbs by November.  I’m being helped by my local gym and online (via email coaching) by Debra Mazda who is the owner of Shapely Girl Fitness is in Philadelphia.

Debra herself used to weigh over 300lbs, but through studying  nutrition and exercise, she has managed to get her weight down to 165lbs and has maintained that weight for just over 25 years!  She didn’t diet to get that weight down. She just used the facts and common sense.

She’s focused and aware, plus she offers help to anyone who asks for it via her gym as well as through motivational Facebook posts and tweets.

She’s someone who caught my attention a few years back and when I had my blogtalk radio show, she was a guest and spoke about her passion for getting women to start ‘moving.’

I think deep down I’ve always had that need to want to go back to the size I used to be which was between a UK 12/14, but over the years I had become stubborn to listening to common sense, as well as blind-sided by adoration from lovers of bigger women.

The bravest decision I’ve ever made (aside from being a mother) is to actually STOP listening to other people who said fat is cool, stop making excuses as to why obese is good and actually do what deep down in my heart I’ve known is right.

I was listening to one of my past podcasts the other day and I was saying how passionate I was about larger women loving the skin their in.  At the point I made that podcast (which wasn’t very long ago) I WAS passionate about it because it was my life.  But one day I woke up and realised that loving the skin I was in was not going to give me a better chance to live longer, feel amazing all the time, and let me achieve all of my goals.

Weight gain runs in my family but that is not an excuse.  I realised this when I saw how much my Mother struggles.  It’s not just about eating crap (although that’s a large % of it).  It’s about not eating the right things at the right times.  It’s about not moving enough and lack of water.  All those things combined can make people put on weight.

I’m not going to lie to anyone.  There are people out there in the plus-size world who are very pissed at me right now. ‘How can Vanessa turn back on her word?’  Because Vanessa doesn’t want to struggle at age 40 to get off the damn sofa!

Wake up people!

Is that what you want for yourselves?  It’s all very well running around in your teens and 20′s thinking you can take on the world at over 200lbs, but the truth is when you get to your 30′s/40′s you will begin to see the signs of your obesity.

I am still obese and that word cuts harder than the word fat, doesn’t it?

Does the term ‘I’m obese and happy,’ still sound as defiant and cool as ‘I’m fat and happy.’ ?

I mean, really?

But this is not about guilt or a personal attack geared towards other obese people.

Many in the plus-size world have seen my change of heart as a stab in the back to them.  It’s like they think I’m personally attacking them.  WRONG.  My friends are my friends regardless of size.  The truth is, I absolutely know how much it can get ones back up when someone challenges the fat community.  I was the same.  I’ve said things like ‘well we all die sometime, so lets eat what we want and have fun.’

Well the lightening bolt that hit me was that I don’t want to end my life in a coffin that people can’t carry!  I don’t want to be the girl who’s remembered just because she was fat.  Most of all; I have so many goals I want to achieve and some of them are physical ones and I simply cannot do them at the weight I am.

To some I’m not even big – you’re joking right!  My BMI 36.6. That’s OBESE!

I had a very interesting conversation with a high flyer in the fashion world recently (who will remain nameless) but they said while they love to produce clothes for plus-size women, there is also that nagging feeling that they are in fact encouraging women to be unhealthy (especially young girls).  Just like straight fashion uses super slim models can, and may, encourage women to be underweight.  She didn’t know what solution was best.  But we both concluded that while all women deserve fabulous clothes to wear, they also should be aware that being underweight and overweight is a long term health issue.

After many years of denial, the straight fashion world now realises they can no longer ignore the connection between underweight models and women who strive to be super slim because of the images they see and in turn losing too much weight.

Whilst I can’t say I have not recently been effected by seeing lots of slim models in my fit modelling job (which I’ve now officially finished) I am realistic in knowing I’m not a 6ft super model.  I can be slim, but a slim that suits my own body frame.

It’s nice to see some plus-size fashion sites incorporating health (Go Daily Venus Diva!!)  into their topics and this is something that needs to happen more.

It’s a tough one because no one wants to make anyone feel horrible – but clearly someone has to take the stake and say, ‘look, if fat no longer works for you here are some options; we can support you through that as well as the emotional transition.’

I offered the option recently of people removing themselves from my mailing list if they didn’t want to hear anything about my weight loss.  Only two did and I removed  another two anyway because, quite frankly, they need to get a grip.   I will continue to give people the option to remove themselves if they want to.  If you’re not ready to hear what I say then you’re not ready.  That’s fine – more have joined since then who do want to hear more about my work and lifestyle change.

I say to plus-size magazines online – you need to be more consistent and you need to be prepared to lose support, because harping on about weight loss and the importance of good health will not sit well with many who are obese. That used to be me – I was very good at ignoring anything that made my life difficult.

Weight loss is like bad debt.  You know you have to address it –  you just don’t want to.  But one day that debt is going to catch up with you and you’ll be paying a higher price because you ignored it.

As you can tell by this post – I’m not pussy footing around with what I feel (trust me there have been times I have or been in outright denial).

Most obese women are like I was a few weeks ago – in complete denial and stubborn to boot!   But what I’ve found is that you’ll gain a different crowd of people who are in that transition mode.  They still want to see all the fun stuff like fashion and beauty, but they also want to read about a lifestyle change because they are going through that themselves.

For some, it may take up to 18 months or so to lose the weight they need to.  And if you think about all the obese people who’ve made the decision to finally drop the lbs, it’s a no brainer  - you will have a good readership.

People Forget

Even when I reach size 12 I will still be a curvy plus-sized woman – I just won’t be obese any more.

There’s has been support!

I’ve had some lovely messages and emails from people who are plus-sized but see my point.  I’m not going to name names, but thank you for your understanding and maturity.  That is what this boils down to – maturity to understand that in life we can change our minds.  It’s understanding I’m not personally attacking anyone who chooses to live their life as an obese person.  It’s maturity to understand I can’t sit there any more and high five someone who thinks obese is the new healthy.  It isn’t and it will never be.

To those that don’t get it.

When you can’t get yourself off the couch without struggling, you will get it.

When you wheeze as you walk a metre down the road, you will get it.

When you’re tired of men feeding your ego simply because you’re fat, you will get it.

We all want to be accepted, but I’ve discovered that the plus-size community, as a whole, doesn’t want to accept people who are obese and don’t want to be any more.  They’d rather ignore them and push them aside rather than looking into the health issue, which is not at all the same as body image.

You are not ugly because you are obese.  I want to make that very clear.  I have friends who are bigger than me and some that are way slimmer than me.  They are beautiful people to me.  It’s what’s inside – which sounds like a cliché, but it’s so true.  But I would now encourage obese people to start exercising, learn about food nutrition, and treat their bodies better.  Weight is only one of my health demons and I have a few more demons to fight yet.  But I take one demon at a time.

It’s going to get nasty before it gets better.

Make no mistake we’ve pussy footed around this issue for too long.  Pretending we can dip our toes into a difficult topic.  A topic which is emotional on so many levels.  Particularly for women.  But just like anorexia it should be addressed and loudly.

It starts with fashion – there needs to be some responsibility shown in the plus-size fashion world (and in the super plus size model world aka BBW).  I, and many others, have been guilty of ignoring or just tapping the surface of this emotive subject.

We don’t need to start calling each other names or being mean – we just need to have something that addresses obesity as base for people who want to learn more and/or are going through the transition like me.

We need to re-educate to stop the diet industry making shed loads of money from our lack of understanding and patience to understand.

You do not need to diet or take slimming pills.  You need to know how your body works, what foods to put in it and how to maintain a normal BMI.

That is the only way we can unite as people.  Forget ‘us and them’.  Forget your stupid pride.  Start caring more and integrating women and men into a mind set which is better long term.

Who’s Brave Enough?

Really, who is?  Well there is myself and Debra to start with.  I’m pretty fearless right now and I know after 25 years+ of maintaining her weight loss, Debra is not scared to say exactly what she thinks.  Obesity is a problem we cannot ignore.  If not for the people who are in their 30′s or beyond, let’s try and educate the teens and 20 something’s who think just because they found a fantastic outfit in a size 26 they don’t need to address their obesity.

Think long and hard about the message you are sending out.  We cannot change what we’ve done, but what we can do is be accountable NOW and start moving forward.

It would be excellent to see a nutrition booth at FFF Week in LA or maybe a work out demo.  I don’t know if that has been done yet?

Every expo for plus-size fashion should have information available in my opinion.  At least to give people some information IF they choose to change their eating and exercise path.  It’s not about selling out – it’s about offering women choices.  Haven’t we strived long enough to be heard and to be given choice?  Let’s take it one step further.

Side Note:

I remember when Michele Obama launched her war on obesity.  I hated that title but I realised that’s what it is – it’s a war and many of us are obese.

We need to stop being so damn pig headed and realise that long term it’s not the best option to live our lives in that state.  We do need to think of our children or younger family members.

Last night my teenage Son (who’s built like a match stick) asked if we could go out and get him some chocolate.  It was after 10pm!  Two weeks ago I would have thought nothing of saying yes, lets go and get some chocolate.  But now I simply cannot justify it.  And while treats are nice for kids and adults alike, I think when a treat comes in breakfast, lunch, and dinner we have a serious problem.

The fact is before I started this journey of losing 50lbs I was heavily addicted to sugar.  Spending over £30+ on chocolate and soft drinks a week was nothing to me.  I’m now off my sugar come down (which was horrible and irritating) but I did it.  Pure willpower has got me through.  I don’t expect for people to understand that if they’ve never had to remove excess sugar from their food intake but truth be told – I’ve got more energy now than a can of Rockstar has ever given me.

Fighting that and my obesity feels good!

If you want to bitch and moan about this post then do it on your own sites.  If you want positive support then you know how to find me.  I’m not interested in dealing with anyone in denial.

I’ll remind people what I’ve given up to do this.  Not only some of my readership but also a job that paid me money to stay obese.  Whilst it was fun and I loved it – that eventually took its toll on my mind and body.

I still love the fashion that it provides, but in my opinion it should only be used as a stop gap through transition and NOT as fashion you would want to be in for the long term.

Luckily for me I woke up before it was too late.  I’m just waiting for others to do the same.  I can tell you it feels amazing when you do.  You think you feel good now – wait till you’re working with real energy and not something from a biscuit barrel or a can of soda.  It’s like WOW!! 

Leaving you with this link to a video which I loved!

http://alivincent.com/

Debra Mazda on Facebook

Most people won’t tell you the cons of starting or running a business when they coach or invite you to buy their coaching program.  They just want you to see the pot of gold at the end of it all. And while this can be a great motivational tool, it’s also in a business owner’s best interest to know exactly what they are letting themselves in for.

Even if you’re a seasoned business owner; a change of direction with your business can be daunting. It’s almost like starting over again!  But don’t lose heart.

This audio is not about looking at the glass half empty – far from it.  For every negative there is a positive, as you’ll hear.

Knowing these positives can make the tough times in business easier to bear, I’ll explain how not to fear them or get overly frustrated – and exactly how you can benefit from the negatives of being a business owner.

Sit back, enjoy this audio, and listen out for the tips at the end – they may come in useful.

If you’re interested in learning more about my coaching, then click here or alternatively give me a call for an informal chat.

Today I decided to switch up my meals and conquer my distaste for eggs.  It’s not that I truely hate them, it’s just that they aren’t on the top of my list of things to eat.

But during a healthy eating plan eggs are important.

I’ve been reading Burn the Fat – Feed the Muscle by Tom Venuto and he says that eggs are MUST in anyone’s bid to lose fat because of the protein in eggs (it gives us energy to exercise plus repair muscles after training) . Don’t ask me to get technical because the book is over 300 pages long, but it’s brilliant.

He also says, interestingly, that it’s actually the white of the egg which is the most beneficial. The yolks ironically contain fat!  I did not know that.  Now I don’t think it’s a huge issue to include the yolks if you’re already on a good nutrition plan and are at the weight you want to be – but his book focusses on losing fat and feeding your muscle through good nutrition and exercise.

My goal today was to actually make an omlette that I actually enjoyed eating! lol

Not only that, but to cook without the yolks, which if I had to choose, are the parts of the egg I eat the most (when I force myself to eat eggs).

So here’s my recipe!  Also, below that you’ll see what I did to switch it for my Son’s meal.

You will Need

3 egg whites (I used free-range from the local farm)

1 teaspoon of mixed spices

Fresh basil leaves

pinch of lo-salt

Fry Light  Extra Virgin Oil (spray) (Click the link to see what it looks like)

4 New potatoes –  sliced with skins on

Broccoli - a few florets

Fresh tomatoes (sliced)

Green Beans

1/4 Red pepper sliced

Optional: Green Jalapeños (you know I love them in just about everything) four or five small slices is enough

To Make:

- If you don’t have a steamer I would recommend getting one.  Honestly I hate vegetables boiled and that’s due to me investing in a steamer years ago and realising vegetables taste so much better when steamed.

- If you don’t have one, the important thing to remember is not to over boil vegetables – which often makes them tasteless.

- Place the fresh basil in the first tier (I put it in purely to give the vegetables a little bit of aroma). You can do the same in a pan of simmering water if that’s what you’re using.

- Then place the potatoes, green beans, and broccoli on.  If steaming, set to ten minutes.

- While they are steaming/simmering

Put three egg whites in a bowl with the mixed spices and salt.  Whisk lightly (I actually used my  electric hand whisk for a second).

- Put your frying pan on low and give it a couple of sprays with the Fry Light.  If you don’t have that – a very small amount of extra virgin olive oil is fine (it’s good fat – but don’t go crazy with it)

- As soon as your vegetables are coming to the end of their 10 minutes, put the egg whites in the frying pan.

- Place the potatoes, broccoli, green jalapeños,  green beans on top of the omelette as it’s gently cooking (leave the basil leaves – you will not need them now)

- Let the omellette gently cook underneath for a couple of minutes then place it under a hot grill to brown the top slightly.

- Let it bubble and brown and finish with a garnish of the sliced red peppers and fresh tomatoes.

Victory!

It tasted bloody beautiful – as we say here in the UK.  I couldn’t believe how good it was!  :)

But here’s the big deal – protein gives the body energy, and boy did I have some after that. Two hours later I was back at the gym – I’d already been in the morning for my cardio and weight training.  I went back this evening and did more laps than I’ve ever done before in the pool –  33 breast strokes !!! I was not tired either.  Could have done more but the gym was due to close.

This meal will definitely be one I’ll be making again.  It had lots of vegetables, spices, and I didn’t even notice the taste of the whites.

The truth is losing fat takes time and patience.  If you think you’re basically resetting your whole body and mind back to a more nutritional way of thinking.  Plus, you’re burning fat you have built up over the years.  Meals like this, I’m sure, will give me more energy to do more cardio and weights which will will aid my fat loss.

BONUS!

This was super cheap and quick to make.  Before I started this challenge I’d think nothing of dropping £10.00 on a take out.  This meal cost next to nothing in comparison.

Switching things up!

My son had the same, but I sliced up a thin slice of cheese and cooked some lean bacon (without the rind) and cut that up.  I placed them in the omelette during the grilling phase.  He really enjoyed it, too.

We downed water for good measure!

Let me know how you cook your eggs in a nutritional way.

V x

To read more of my daily food and exercise diary visit Debra Mazda’s blog.

She is coaching me through this 50lbs weight loss journey.

Even coaches need coaches!

It’s almost as if the person who’s trying to entice you into parting with your money just doesn’t see you as a customer or client; instead they see you as a blank cheque book they can just spurt out their sales patter to and you will willingly part with the cash.

Newsflash

2010 is the year for sharing a little more of yourself as a business owner. It’s the year to connect with people on a deeper level than before and I know for me personally it’s the precious tool we all have as women and entrepreneurs that makes people feel you’re not a robot, therefore are trustworthy and  approachable to do business with.

Most of the products I’ve bought this year from solo business owners (both men and women) were based on my belief that they weren’t just talking to a huge audience of faceless people, but that I was somebody to them. They shared good, bad, topical and exciting things that interested me – most times this had nothing to do with their business.

Generally I like to buy from people who not only have what I need to buy but people I know will be approachable should I need to ask post sale questions.

They are human!

It’s goes beyond social networking

Social Media is based upon making connections and cementing those connections. Time and again I see twitter accounts opened with no picture and no @replies. It’s just a bunch of links posted and that’s it. As a consumer I find this almost offensive. How can you sell anything to anyone if you don’t show people you’re real?

Mixing up your links with general chit chat is great way for people to tune into your human side. It builds a degree of trust, and depending on what you’re talking about, a little bit of  genuine empathy too.

But there’s more!

Facebook is a great example of how to interact with people as well as promote your brand. If you’ve ever seen my facebook page I switch up my link promotion with talking about serious and non serious things which people then are able to comment on.

Most business owners know this and do this but what they don’t do is interact much with comment authors. This to me is really arrogant and while I don’t expect people with thousands of people on their Facebook list to reply to every single comment it sure would be nice to see a little more interaction.

Balance

But listen I’m not saying you have to pour your heart out in ever single tweet or facebook note, nor should you carry on conversations for days on end.

The worst offenders are the ‘Pity Party’ posters. I was chatting to a fellow entrepreneur the other day and we agreed, a bad day is a bad day it’s okay to share one of those once in a while, but every tweet and facebook note is overkill and will put people off visiting or responding.

If you’re not having a good day or there is something you need to get off your chest it’s best to address it and then move on as quickly as you can with something a little more upbeat.

If you’re having a day of feeling sorry for yourself I get that but twelve in a row! Please! You need to talk to someone about that and not try and promote a business because you really damage your brand by constantly telling people how down you are.

Just recently I had to ‘hide’ someone of Facebook because I was so put off by their constant whining.  They must have forgotten I was a potential customer – not any more.

Ladies are the worst offenders when it comes to lack of balance with their social media.

And its tough, I know. We’ve all been there. The hater who’s got your back up, the bad PMT week, the break-up with the boyfriend. Yes those things matter to you and you should feel free to address them, but please – not 24/7!

Whatever medium you use…

…to promote your brand, try and  add a little of the following to let people know you’re human. It’s all got to be you -don’t force a fake personality. People will see right through it and they will  find it hard to trust you or your brand.

Share

• Something silly or funny that’s happened to you this week.
• Something you feel passionate about that you want to chat to others about.
• Something regarding your business that you’re excited to share.
• Share and respond to other people’s tweets and Facebook posts that you like.
• Ask questions of your followers and respond to the answers.

And finally (controversially)…

• Don’t be afraid to say exactly what you think to someone who’s come on your twitter or Facebook to pee on your parade. Address, delete them, move on. No need to linger in that negative vibe for too long.

Understand not everyone will like what you say all the time. But plenty of people will so the odd person you lose of your list is simply the nature of the beast.

Looking Forward

Building alliances with other business owners is very important and again showing the human side of you on your site and social media pages helps to build trust and interest if done in a balanced way.

Let me know if the ‘human’ side of business is important to you!

V x

Catch me on Twitter and Facebook